Cream Tea at Baddesley Clinton, Warwickshire

So here we go again.  The first in what I hope will be a fruity season of Cream Tea Reviews.  And what a fine start to the season this was.

 

Baddesley Clinton is a first rate Tudor Gem.  It's not grand, rather nice and cosy, snuck away a few miles north of Warwick.

Nice bit of moat action going on there.

Top entrance.

Enough about the house; what about the cream tea.

The Barn Restaurant.  In the "how promising would you rate it from the outside" category this isn't going to score a huge number of points.  The name itself sounds promising but that cheap glass and wood looks as if it was put in when Michael Foot was leader of the opposition and money was a bit scarce.  Steps don't look too great either.
However, fortune, as they say, favours the hungry.  And looks can be deceptive.  This is a great little NT caf.

Great beams.  OK, the furniture might seem a little naff, but for connoisseurs of a first rate cream tea the furniture ain't all.  That's a great view.
And now down to business.

When you've been driving for hours on end through driving rain, and you've had to suffer the horrors of Wolverhampton, West Bromwich, and Sandwell in order to avoid the snarl up on the M6 because of shabby English drivers this is the sort of sight that restores your faith in humanity.  Possibly a bit stingy with the milk, but look at that cream. Is it ice-cream or clotted?  And then the scone.  What a monster.   Let's take a closer look.   You can tell that they bake their scones all nuzzled up one to another.  I quite like the slightly squared look.  And then the three raisins on three corners with one unoccupied corner - that's genius - you can't teach that sort of touch.    And in order to appreciate the true mahoosiveness of this scone we need a sideways shot.

My word. That's impressive isn't it.  Look how taller it is than the jamjar.  Let's see if we can get in a bit closer.

Goodness me.  That glacial rubble look on the side of the scone is something to get the juices flowing.  The way in which the crusty bit on the left corner gives way to inviting softness on the face nearest us is great.  You just know that when you dive in you're going to be rewarded.

Rating
Location 8.5

Good and solid. Red bricks everywhere, the correct level of dishevelediness; i.e. a few moles have been creating havock, great mix of garden furniture.  Very good if not the absolute best.

Great latrines.  Makes you want to sink a couple of lagers so you can get in there a bit later after seeing the house.

The Scone  18.5 / 20
 A first rate score for a first rate scone.  I've described the scone in some detail already.  What needs to be re-emphasized is the size of the thing.  Enormous.  Since global warming evidently hasn't made it to the Midlands yet, and at the end of April it's still absolutely chanking cold and wet, this is just what you need after a traipse around an English Country House and its extensive grounds. It's a meal in itself.  Freshly baked that morning,  it's got a slight doughy hint to it,  it's correctly seasoned,  and baked on a proper tray so that there's just the right amount of crust on it.  Here's a patissiere on top of his game.  Bravo!

The Jam  7/10
These jam jars are tedious and their contents ordinary.  And when the scone is as large as a teacake there ain't enough of it.  I can feel a jam crusade coming on.

The Cream 8/10
Clotted and tasty,  but too white and not naughty enough.

The Tea  10/10
Making a decent cup of tea isn't brain surgery.  Do it like this and you're on a winner.

Service and miscellaneous  9/10
As we like it - sufficient effort has been made without going over the top.

Value for money 20/20
£3.75!  Heavens above,  change for a newspaper from a Lady Godiva.  Astonishing.

Prejudice corner.
1) Is the local MP a Liberal Democrat?
No he isn't.  It's as blue as Chelsea football shirt in this neck of Shakespeare's county.  No worries here and 1 point scored.

2) What about religion?
Very much to the fore so 1 point scored.  Priests' holes everywhere.

3) So the house has been inhabited by infidels.  Please say more.
Yes it is.  But this blog's prejudice is against Non-conformity in its protestant guise.  On the other hand there are Jesuit connections in evidence which ain't so good.  Half a point scored therefore.

4) Now I know these Romanists did it all behind closed doors.  What about the one true religion, does it get a look in?
It does indeed.

The Church of St Michael, Baddesley Clinton is within the grounds, which boasts an almost weekly celebration of something called The Holy Communion.  Marvellous.  1 point.

5) And what's it like inside?
I COULDN'T GET IN BECAUSE IT WAS LOCKED.  Not good, and no points scored.

6) That's enough about religion. Back to the cafe.  What about coffee?
Definitely not encouraged which is how it should be.  The coffee machine was invisible.  You could get it if you were asked for it I think but it wasn't being shoved down our throats.  1 point scored.

7)  What about the anti GM food brigade?  Have they got their claws into this place?
Not that I could see.  I liked to be preached at in Church and nowhere else. Keep them at bay.  1 point

8) What about the clientelle?  Any copies of the New Statesman lying around?
Thank goodness not. 1 point.

9) Were there advertisments for events such as - "children's fun day at Baddesley Clinton" or nauseating things along those lines?
No - they play a straight bat on this one which is how it should be.  Three year old children should be lectured for 50 minutes at a time about the evils of Republicanism.  1 point.

10) Would your Grandmother be upset by the whole experience?
Certainly not.  Hurrah. 1 point

Total and Summary
89.5/100
A great start to the Cream Tea season in a great location smack in the middle of Blighty just off the M40/M42 interchange.  Wouldn't hesitate to go there again.