Castell Powis Castle Lady Violet's Coffee House

As a cream tea loving Welshman who's obliged to live the wrong side of the ditch it's always with a spring in my step that I head for my homeland - particularly with some holidays in the offing.  And what of the opportunity to enjoy a Cream Tea at Powis Castle?

  

It makes me salivate just thinking about it.

This is a cream tea which needs to be taken seriously from the off - a serious contender; a National Trust Cream Tea no less from one of the finest National Trust property in the Principality.

Two corking scones - and the way they've been imperfectly kneaded and shaped is so enticing? Look at the one at the right - that little bit sticking out at the bottom is just begging to be ripped off and devoured.

Rating

Location 10/10

Top location in God's own Country.  Lady Violet's coffee house hides away in the bottom corner of one of the finest gardens in Wales.

Some great Alan Titchmarsh action going on over the entrance to the bog on the left.

The Scone 16/20

This is a tricky one to mark.  Beautifully fresh scones, nice quirky shape, and nice big uns to boot, and hugely enjoyable.  I'm just slightly averse to scones being sweet.  For me the dough shouldn't be sweetened at all - you get your sweetness from the jam.

The Cream 9/10

Proper clotted cream - 'nuff said.  Marvellous.

The Jam 7/10

I'm beginning to get slightly fed-up with these poncy little jars.  It's all a bit B&B in East Grinsted for my taste.  For a start - a poxy little jar this size isn't big enough for two scones the size of tennis balls - which is the case here.  Also - that gingham effect on the lid is naff.  Now I'm not agin to naff in its proper place. But I would like plenty of Jam.  Rant over.

The Tea 9/10

Marvellous.  Plenty of it it. I think the pot was heated before making. 

Service and Miscellaneous 10/10

You expect good service from the NT.  This is what we got. In a busy place at a busy time of the day the galley workers were sweating away to keep fat impatient people like myself on the move.  Flash to bang was very short.  Excellent.

Value for money 18/20

Pretty good stuff.  This all came in at under five nicker - £4.70 I think.  Which is pretty good.  Over a fiver and I start getting all mean about things.

Prejudice Corner

1) Is the local MP a Liberal Democrat?

Some people have wondered what on earth I'm doing asking this sort of question?  Well here's why it matters.  15 months ago you might have been sat at Powis Castle, enjoying this fantastic cream tea.  Then your local MP turns up to canvas.  And it's Lembit Opik.  You spew up all your cream tea and your day out is completely ruined. That's why it matters. Fortunately - the electorate of Montgomreyshire came to their senses last time out and turfed him out.  

Answer - No. 1 point scored.

2) Are there any visible signs of Non-conformity in the area?

Mercifully not - we've managed to drive non-conformity into the towns in this neck of the woods - 1 point scored.

3) Does the establishment give you a lecture about the supposed evils of GM crops while you're waiting?

No - I've no doubt this'll change in time, but for the moment no Lord Melchetts hanging around to spoil your fun. 1 point scored.

4) Did you see any hunting take place with at least 1 pack of hounds?

Unfortunately not.  A travesty.  NO points on this one.

5) Was there a particularly warm welcome to English people at this Welsh location?

Unfortunately yes.  They need to get a bit more frosty.  Try - ignoring English people for 40 - 50 seconds when they've reached the till while doing nothing in particular except walk back and forth to the kitchen.  No points here I'm afraid.

6) Were coffee drinkers pandered to?

Yes they were and I don't like it.  On the menu it said "Cream Tea.  Two scones served with ........ with a choice of tea or coffee".   "Or Coffee"???  What is this world coming to.  The clue is in the title Cream Tea.  That second word with three letters in it.  This is beyond belief.  These coffee drinkers are getting a little above their station.  You watch - they'll be taking our jobs next.

No points scored.

7) Was the term vegetarian used in an affirming way?

You always suspect that the NT is massively pro vegetarian - but no evidence of it here. So 1 point scored.

8) Were snuff users and other partakers in perfectly legal tobacco products actively persecuted?

No - I saw plenty of people puffing away around the gardens.  Excellent. 1 point scored.

9) What about the number of people visible who should have been eating at the salad bar rather than at a cream tea joint?  It was a little bit fleshy at times but I can't remember being too upset - and in any case I've been a bit harsh on this set so I'll give them a point.

10) Would a reasonable person describe the experience as being trendy?

Probably not - which is good news and one point scored - but they're dangerously close.

Total and Summary 

85/100

Any score above 75 is a cream tea worth travelling for.  Here - the shere size of the scones and the amount of tea on offer for less than a blue drinks voucher made for a memorable experience. Fantastic.  Keep up the good work.